There Are Some Things You Just Don’t Recover From
By: Eli Thursday January 1, 2009 10:27 am 12
It's looking bad for Sir Charles Barkley, very bad:
Former Phoenix Suns player and NBA star Charles Barkley told police he was in a hurry to receive oral sex from a female passenger when he ran through a stop sign drunk early Wednesday, a police report states.
(...)
While being processed at the East Valley DUI Taskforce command post, Barkley told police, "I was going to drive around the corner and get" oral sex, the report states....
He then told civilian employee, "I'll tattoo your name on my @$$" if it would get him out of the DUI, according to the report.
Barkley was returning from the Dirty Pretty Rock Bar near Camelback and Miller roads where he spent about three hours with a large group of 40 people, said owner Ryan Jocque. The party included actor Jaleel White, who played TV nerd Steve Urkel from the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, and football player Michael Strahan.
Sir Charles' reputation could probably survive the DUI bust, and the blow job, and even the bizarre and vaguely creepy tatto offer, but partying with Urkel? No way.
I'm telling you, if Mel Gibson had been returning from a party with Urkel when he got busted, Apocalypto would have never seen the light of day. Or dark of theater. Whichever.
makes for good comedy too.